A lot of things have changed in the last year and a half, wouldn't you say?
I started this blog post in 2019 as a means to explore and support the new Cannabis industry after legalization. I felt instantly like I finally belonged to something, to a community, to a career. I've struggled, and I mean really struggled my entire "working life" to find
a "place to be". If that doesn't make sense to you, well congratulations on your stability lol.
Then the pandemic hit and my. whole. world. shook.
Yours too, right?
I stopped working at the beautiful shop I was a budtender at part-time; called Cannabis Cottage on Martin Street downtown Penticton.
My family and I isolated, just like everyone else. We were renting a house from family members who were planning to travel for a few years. This arrangement allowed us to grow some really gorgeous weed in 2020, but once all the Canadians abroad were told to come back, the family needed their home back and we had to find a new place to live - during a housing crisis in the Okanagan. And also, obviously, the pandemic raged on.
My father was also diagnosed with prostate cancer last fall.
Luckily we found a small but beautiful condo for our small but beautiful family and we settled in last winter. We are truly grateful for what we have found because we are in a
serious housing crisis in our region. It's so bad I still get emotional when I see other folks in our community struggling to find a roof to put over their heads. It's absolutely fucking tragic, and we need serious government intervention on housing but that is another rant I'll get into later...
Earlier this summer I also discovered, rather by accident, that I am Neuro-divergent with Inattentive ADHD. This discovery and
diagnosis so late in my life (I'm 36) has been earth-shattering to say the least! I've learned SO. FUCKING. MUCH. about whyyyyyyyyyy I do the things I do. Seriously, go binge on Google about symptoms of ADHD in adults, especially adult women. There are tens of thousands of women out there right now realizing they are Neuro Divergent, starved of dopamine and living a really destructive life trying to fill that elusive cup. Never really fitting in. Never really getting ahead. Misunderstood. Exhausted. Confused. Broken. Addicted.
For me, it explains why I start things that seem like a brilliant idea and then hyper focus on them for a time, realizing soon it's either harder than I expected, or lose complete confidence in my abilities, OR decide it's not worth my time to continue said project. Especially in times of panic, I tend to try to throw the entire toolbox at a problem and I get overwhelmed and shut down. I have found some really helpful tips and tricks in the last few months that I will share in another post. I opted out of the prescription issued by the therapist and wanted to try to find a way to make my life fit me before I jumped into that murky arena of class 1 narcotics. The support I have found has been just beautiful, honestly I can't wait to share with you.
And still... the pandemic rages on.
With all the self discovery I've made these last few years and all the changes I've made there is one thing that has been constant, my beacon on the hill. The notion that one day my family will be on a farm, growing weed, food, medicine. Inviting guests to take in our experience and take with them some motivation to seek out a better way. Fingers crossed we can make that happen before the zombie apocalypse.
And then something shifted last week.
Despite the fact that I quit my budtender job a year and a half ago; I can't grow weed in my condo; I've been swirling sober in imposter syndrome and trying to wrangle my Neuro Divergent flits of fancy; despite all that the universe still wants me to keep fighting for my spot in this industry.
In the last week or so I've had:
- 3x local media interviews
- been asked to join a Women & Cannabis co-op group
- approached to judge a charity event
- agreed to a little sponsorship project
And that's just the stuff that the universe is bringing to me; in my own head I've started dreaming up ideas for post-pandemic Cannabis community gatherings and meet-ups, tourism projects, and new ideas for building my blog up again.
Not gonna lie I have felt like a deer in the headlights for the last year and a half (and truthfully for many years before that), but life is much simpler now and I feel like I have room to move into my next rendition. I hope you are trying to find that space for you, whatever that looks like.
Thanks for checking me out, this community is really something special.